New Year.
My husband is very good at writing and volunteered to help with a newsletter at his job. He was tasked with writing something non-technical but staff-developey and he wrote about setting achievable goals for the new year. I did a quick content read for him and the idea stuck.
My last year really sucked professionally. Work became a consuming vortex of stress, guilt and exhaustion. I’m sure you’ve heard this one: due to staffing shortages we all did more with less people. The logical outcome was that many people got fed up and left, making more work for those left. Queue the fights with leadership about expectations, standards, safety and burnout. The thing about me is that I’m one of those people who feels really deep personal responsibility for things that maybe I shouldn’t. So I didn’t just leave. Plus we just bought a new house so…
I’m already in negotiations to change my hours and get consistency in my schedule. I had set time lines, given myself cut-offs for things to get better. And the situation limped along slowly getting better. There is nothing wrong with that; things happen in time. But the vortex made me feel really adrift. So I’m grasping. For a foot on the ground, for more sleep, and more patience. But I figured instead of grasping, I can think ahead and throw my hopes at the chaos. And set some achievable goals.
I have always been a little enamored with new years resolutions. I have a few in the past that I have generally kept. They tend to be very general so that I can pick and choose when they apply so I never feel like a failure (for this. I almost always feel like I’m failing at life as a whole. But that’s normal). So this year my new years resolutions are:
1) Cognitively re-frame the shit that is going on around me. Nothing is miserable. I am miserable. But changing my viewpoint and expectations can make me not miserable.
2) Figure out a way to do the things I used to like doing. This is two parter because I first have to find enough time and bandwidth to do the things I used to like doing. Then I also have to see how it feels to do them again.
The overarching theme is to reclaim my actual life from a job that I love but will at all times do its best to eat my soul.
I get distracted really easily. I need a lot of reminders and help (and stimulants and two beverages) to stay on track. I am hoping that contractually creating a consistent work schedule will help me set aside time to do the other things in life that I desperately miss, and miss enjoying.
So now I have a blog. This will hopefully be one of the concrete, consistent ways I can reestablish myself in my own life. I’m hoping to come here to chronicle my efforts at the previously stated goals. It’s a way to create reflection and accountability that I’m living my life and spending my time and dollars towards what I want. It’s really for me. I don’t know anything about SEO so it likely will stay that way. Plus, who doesn’t love a vanity project?
So what am I looking forward to in 2024? What are the things I used to like doing? What are the old resolutions that I made that I need to keep in mind?
Setting some firm fucking boundaries a work. Getting rid of a bunch of projects, helping hire and orient a shit ton of people. Hiring a replacement for the most annoying part (MAP) of my job.
Reading more. Both for fun and to manage my anxiety. But also in the way I used to- to challenge myself.
Building a habitat for native plants and animals in my yard, building biodiversity on the only land I have control over.
Composting more and in a less ugly way (sorry, neighbor, for my trash pile).
Reducing food waste and making more food at home.
Finishing our basement (with the help of professionals).
Decorating and reorganizing our new dining room and my home office (with no professionals).
Playing more screen-free games with my kids.
Figuring out standardized ways to get my tween to be in the same room as me.
Get a timeline and to dos for the Passion Project.